My dad was a rice and cattle farmer. Dad was a believer in prayer, but not so much in regular church attendance.
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Mom was very devout in both her prayer life and church attendance. The first major influence, other than my parents, was our parish priest. He was a by the book, no-nonsense preacher. I grew up thinking there was right and wrong and no in between. Consequently, as a young teenager, I grew up with my share of guilt at always falling somewhat short in being a strict observer of all Church law. I also grew up with an image of a demanding God, who was keeping tabs on all my sins.
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This retreat experience reinvigorated my desire to have a relationship with God and learn more about this loving God. The next big development in my spiritual journey was attending a Crusillo in Listening to other men talk about how God had worked in their lives moved me greatly. These men talked about how their relationship with God made them better husbands and fathers; and better members of their faith communities.
I began to think of myself not just as an individual, but as a member of the one body in Christ. As I got more involved I felt a desire to devote myself to full-time ministry. I felt like a great dream had come true. I often describe my three years at Maryhill as both the best and worst three-year period of my life. I worked seven days a week trying to prove to everyone that I was deserving of being the Director. I believed that the success or failure of the Center rested entirely on my shoulders. While I was working seven days a week, I was neglecting my role as a husband and father.
For the first time in our marriage, my wife and I became estranged. In trying to do everything myself I had neglected or refused to turn to God for help and guidance. I had let my pride and my ego come before Him. Overwhelmed by struggles both at work and at home, I was finally able to open my heart to God and admit my weakness.
I had finally come to that place of humility where I could experience the consolation of His love and mercy.
Things began to change after that night. It did not happen all at once, but I slowly made changes in how I approached my work and my roles as husband and father. One of the first steps in my journey of surrender was letting go of the anger I carried with me for longer than I could remember.
The main reason for my anger was the way I had treated my dad. Before now, I always believed that I was angry with my dad for his drinking and the resulting dysfunction this caused in my family. I never tried to understand him. I did not respect him for who he was beyond the drinking. I only saw him as a weak, selfish man.
Elaine, We pray you will sense fresh grace in your relationship as you seek to love your husband in the way God intended.
Elaine- Grab some books by Jimmy Evans, they will change your heart. You loved your children before they were born and you can do the same with each other! Create it! I have watched the movie 5 times and every time I see I learn something knew. Me and my husband have been married for 14 yrs.
Until the forth year of our marriage he cheated on me and had another child which is 8 yrs old know.
The child calls me momma and I love him with all my heart. We both love The Lord. Please keep us in your prayer. Sheila, We pray God will comfort you as you cry out to Him for help and change in your marriage. Thank you for sharing…God gives grace to the humble. I had seen this movie last year, and loved everything about it. Over the weekend while out of town on a three day trip, my wife admitted to me she had had an affair a few months back.
She broke down to me crying, stating it was the biggest mistake that she had ever committed. At this time, I have all these feelings inside of me from anger, hate, revenge, sadness, and guilt. I have extreme anger toward the individual who she was with. I have told her that I forgive her, but I am having a hard time accepting this news.
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I am also having feelings of guilt, as I too am a first responder, that works multiple jobs, with different shifts, that keeps me more out on the front lines, than more so being a supporting husband for my wife. I let my guard down, believing that bringing home the bacon to keep us financially stable was being a good husband. Instead, she has been alone and continued distant, which I never even realized until it was too late.
The verbal arguments have been numerous, so much, that we have both threatened to seperate to initiate cool down periods. Today, it came to a head to where I went out on a drive and cried out to God asking for his forgiveness and guidance in this situation. We are scheduled to start marriage counseling this week. I have printed off the list and will start initiaiting it immediately into our daily lives. I ask for continued prayer where both my wife and I can find peace during this difficult time, and that I am able to remove my hatred and forgive my wife and the other party involved.
The fact that your wife told you is a huge step in the right direction and so is the counseling. Your feelings are normal and will take time to process.
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We pray you and your wife will continue in the way of restoration of your relationship. Thank you for reaching out for prayer. It is a privilege to pray for those who ask. Tom and Debi.
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- Law of Night;
- Spiritual Growth | Saint Gabriel Episcopal Church.
- Enyas Judgment.
My husband just left d house,leaving me and the children without looking back 4 yrs ago how is this applicable to me? Kemi, We have seen God work miracles in marriages that seemed dead.
Cry out to God and trust Him to lead you. Finaly may God continue to bless you. Thank you for the post of the dares. Back in August I found out my his and was having an affair : one month before our one year marriage anniversary. It crushed me literally to death Inside.
I went through several months, and still do, of pain and hurt causes by the facts of the Incident. It has been a very long bumpy road for us. Since the truth came out we have experienced two miscarriages and during the second I went through it alone as hi And I were separated. So here goes the dares. Pray for us as I believe this is our last chance at what we both really want.
Oh, Marissa, our heart hurts with you. We pray He will do so in yours. Dear Marissa, How did the Love Dare work for you? I am curious as my marriage is falling apart now and I am at a loss. Thank you for your kind words, theo. We are thrilled to hear how God is helping you see marriage from His design. Wat a movie reali I watched it soo many times n every time I watch it again it just tells me that god is for us n that he will bless n guide us in all we do n say …and a life without god is meaningless.
Pamla, You are so right! Thank you for sharing your thoughts about this excellent movie!
Would you mind if I share your blog with my myspace group? Please let me know. Meagan, Not at all. We want as many marriages to benefit from biblical teaching on the marriage relationship as possible. There are so many excellent marriage bloggers doing what we do. You can find them by going to Christian Marriage Bloggers Association. Thanks Meagan. Let us know if we can help in anyway.